I am a thirty something mom of three special needs kids. They come before just about anything in my life. However, I am more than just their mom. I am woman, I am lover, I am a person in my own right with my own thoughts, desires, and feelings that have nothing to do with my children.
I discovered years ago that I am a very submissive person. I have been through three marriages that did not work out. The first one, if we were to do it again today, MIGHT work. The woman I was at 18 and first married was very headstrong, very willful, and wanted to do things HER WAY, all the time. I had just escaped an abusive home life, and wanted my freedom. The boy I married (I was 18, he was 19) wanted a very old-fashioned submissive wife, who did not make eye contact with anyone but him, asked his permission for everything, and did everything only for his pleasure. That was not me. In the intervening years, I have found pleasure in living a life like that. Today, I want nothing more than to please my Captain, and make his life as happy and as easy as possible. I give him the ultimate gift of my life. I am learning to discuss everything I do with him before making any decisions (I have a history of making horribly bad decisions about nearly everything in my life), and before doing anything. I want nothing more than to please him.
I am no longer an impudent, impatient, headstrong child. I am a mature, grown woman who has lived through hell and has come out on the other side of it stronger than I ever thought I could be. I have survived things that would make lesser men crack and break down. I am strong, I am capable.